Taking a critical look at my daygame efforts is the current focus of this blog. I want to explain to myself what is working and more importantly, what is not. From my experience, forcing yourself to write this stuff down is still the best way to do this.
Okay, so what have I been doing?
I have been consistently daygaming every day since October 2014. I had other somewhat long streaks in the summer of the same year (30 days in a row or so), but this is by far the most consistent effort I’ve ever given it. To be fair, there were 2 days around Christmas 2014 when I didn’t do my daily sets because of family obligations, but that’s it. Every other day, Monday to Sunday, I’ve been out there hustling.
That is obviously a good thing, so I like to pat myself on the back for that. Another good thing is that I’ve been constantly pushing my daily quota in terms of approaches: I started out with one set per day, and over time increased it to two and am currently at three per day.
There is a certain ruleset that comes with these 3 daily approaches:
- I have to at least suggest the instant date once during one of these sets
- If I don’t manage to do that naturally within the first three sets, I have to at least spam it on an additional fourth set (“Hey just saw you walking by, wanna get a coffee?”)
- If I actually do go on an instant date, I don’t have to do any other sets that day; that keeps it manageable in terms of time commitment
Sounds pretty rigid and geeky, I know, but this is how I operate… Having these strict rules also greatly helps me to keep the daygame weasels down.
The long-term focus behind this approach is to get the number of sets per day up to 5, and more importantly, to escalate more rapidly and push for the SDL. This is something I picked up from traveling with Nick Krauser this year: He is like a super-efficient daygame machine, always going for the SDL, ideally within 2-3 hours of meeting the girl. For reasons I will explain below, this very much appeals to me; thus, the SDL is what I eventually want to get good at.
I’m already going on instant dates pretty regularly right now (1-2x per week); I’ll keep doing this for a little bit longer, then I’ll start to incorporate the next few steps of the SDL progression into my routine: Venue change, k-close attempt, take her home. I’ll stick with my proven formula of turning these steps into daily mandatory habits, easing myself into it.
Ha, I almost forgot about the nerdiest part of all this: I also record my sets with a hidden camera and analyze them in writing later. Seriously, I can only recommend it though. Watching my sets has been the single biggest tool for improvement this year – there’s nothing like hearing yourself saying the same stupid shit to a hot girl again and again. It almost physically hurts, but it also tremendously helps with eliminating bad behavior.
So much for what I’m currently doing and plan on doing. Now on to the more interesting stuff: What is not working yet? There are two main issues; one on the technical level, the other more on an inner game level. I’ll start with the technical stuff:
Not enough sexually charged spikes in conversation
This is by far my single biggest issue. I can open, transition, friendly chit-chat and close fairly well. I even get laid every once in a while from doing that. But most of the time, it’s really just that: Friendly chit-chat, and not much else happening. I need to change that for my own peace of mind. If I listen to any more recordings of myself talking about my studies, I might trash my laptop. It’s that boring, even to me.
The person who really opened my eyes to that problem is my original daygame hero, Tom Torero. I really, really like his style of sexual banter, throwing these conversational spikes in there: It seems to me it’s fun for not just the girl, but also yourself, and I regularly crack up while watching his infields.
I have days where this is already happening for me and I really get a kick out of it. But I have more days where I’m boring everybody involved to tears. I recently had an idea though: Pick a bunch of Tom’s spikes and simply memorize them to myself every day. Very nerdy again, I know, but I honestly think that might make a difference in set, having these Spikes permanently in your mental RAM.
Ok, that is my main technical problem, but I said there was another deeper-rooted problem. Here we go:
Not following up on leads
Now it gets really interesting, I guess… I hardly ever follow up on girls, even on the somewhat hotter ones. So I don’t send a ping text, I don’t call, I don’t set up a date. Before you shake your head and wonder about my sexual orientation, let me give you a little bit of background. Not to brag, but really to explain. I have been doing pick-up since 2007 (all night game until a year ago) – not consistently, but off and on. Still, there were phases when I would hit the clubs several times a week for several months in a row, and I would be approaching quite a few girls during these sessions. This paid off over the years: I had SNLs, I had numerous open relationships, I had threesomes, and my personal claim to fame, I picked up strippers at the strip club – several times (I LOVE strippers).
So what I’m saying is that even though I’m still relatively new to daygame, I have already done a lot of naughty stuff in my life with some very hot women. As a result, I really cannot be bothered anymore with fucking another 7; if she is not stripper or porn star material and if I don’t enjoy her personality somewhat, I would rather work on my writing or go to the gym than waste hours on a date.
This pretty much sums up my take on dating up until August 2015, when I met Krauser for the first time in Prague. What kinda rocked my world back then was that he wouldn’t waste time with going on regular dates either; it was either SDL within two to three hours or nothing. Something clicked for me back then. It wasn’t really that I didn’t want to fuck another 7 – if she was right there in front of me gagging for it, I would of course do it. I just don’t want to make the time investment of going on 2-3 dates with her, which is my usual spiel.
As a consequence, I decided on the following gameplan: Learn the SDL skillset and always shoot for that, unless I come across a true stripper 9 or 10 (which personally only happens to me a very few times per year, even with me being out on the streets every day). Then go on dates and do whatever to make it happen; in that case, I don’t mind the time commitment – I actually enjoy it.
Okay, enough mental masturbation. I promise to keep the next couple of posts more about actual encounters on the streets and my all-too-regular fuck-ups.