When I started out doing Pick Up about 7 years ago, like most guys, I only did night game. I had read “The Game” and “The Mystery Method” and so naturally, I wanted to hit the clubs hard, like my heroes Style and Mystery did (minus the rockstar plateau boots…).
And to the clubs I went – on average 4-5 times a week. I got pretty good pretty quick at that pace and when I first started teaching workshops and 1-on-1s, I would always take the clients to a club, not to the street. I flat out told them that I was not the right person to talk to about daygame.
That first changed when I met Adam Lyons after a Pick Up conference in Amsterdam. Adam was one of the first PUAs to put a strong emphasis on daygame, walking the streets of London. And I think it was not by accident that Daygame was first popularized by European PUAs – European city centers with their thousands of pedestrians and tourists walking around, are just the perfect practice environment for it.
As Adam wanted me to work as a coach for him, I was suddenly forced to up my own daygame skills. And God, how I hated it… I felt so out of my depth, randomly direct approaching strangers on the street, it was like starting out with Pick Up all over again. I just didn’t see the plausibility: why was I talking to these people?! At a club, it was kinda understood that we were all there to socialize and meet new people – that made sense to me. But bothering shoppers and sightseers, on their way from A to B? I really didn’t get it.
But Adam didn’t relent. He actually told me, to my utter indignation, that personality type wise, I was much better suited for daygame. “What?! Nooo! I want to be like the guys in ‘The Game!’ Crazy night time adventures, propped up girls in high heels and 3somes in the VIP backrooms!”
Well, how times have changed… Nowadays, I almost exclusively do daygame. It was a long journey, as I still kept clutching to night game for years to come, but ultimately Adam got his way. At this point in my Pick Up journey, having done both types of game extensively, there is not a doubt in my mind anymore, which type of game has more advantages: it’s daygame. Mind you, I don’t want to diss club game by any means: if you truly like it, go for it! I still do it very occasionally. But pound for pound, daygame is the smarter choice, no question about it. Let me tell you why:
#1 Drunk people should be dragged out in the streets and shot
Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating… I like to get drunk as much as the next guy. It can be great fun, at times. But there are not many things worse in this world than going to a club sober (like you should), in order to talk to girls. And it’s not about the GIRLS being tipsy – that can be actually kinda charming, as many girls really do have more self control when it comes to alcohol. No, it’s about the douchebags of this world, compensating for their boring, miserable existences by getting totally shitfaced every weekend – and you having to deal with them. Trust me, if you worked as a pick up coach for a couple of years, (male) drunks get very, very annoying; just ask any bouncer. The only way to have fun with drunk people is to get drunk yourself, but that in turn compromises your social intelligence and your pick up abilities. Not so with Daygame: it allows you to avoid that problem altogether by being sober around other sober people, just taking a walk. Which leads me to my next point:
#2 Daygame is healthy
I really think this is a major advantage of daygame to consider: not only are you not getting drunk, but you are basically taking a long walk every day, getting some fresh air. That might seem like a trivial advantage to you but it’s not – as human beings, we were meant to walk, a lot. And if we don’t, the consequences are dire. Sitting, the opposite of walking, has been characterized as “the new smoking” by numerous health experts in recent years – and it makes sense. With the advent of the digital revolution most of us have pretty much stopped moving around completely, at least by evolutionary standards. As a result, excess body fat, muscular atrophy and cardiovascular diseases have become such a widespread phenomenon, we are well on our way to eliminating ourselves. Walking cures all of that. No need to join a fitness studio, really. Just walk a lot more and maybe do some bodyweight training in the nearby park twice a week (if you must). By doing daygame every day, you are very realistically prolonging your life, and not just by potentially passing on your genes…
#3 Daygame is sustainable
Night game takes a huge toll in time and energy. Think about it: in order to get good at Pick Up I would say you have to practice your social skills at least 4-5 times a week. With club game that means staying up way too late most days of the week. How are you going to manage that with a real life job that starts in the morning? You won’t. You will also get sick by messing with your circadian rhythms over extended periods of time and by eating way to much crappy fast food as the result of late night cravings. Case in point: look at recent YouTube videos of Mr. Clubgame, Owen (“Tyler Durden”) from Real Social Dynamics; he is slowly but surely demolishing his body by exclusively doing club game – and he doesn’t even drink! But this goes beyond my previous point of daygame just being healthier than night game: it means daygame is more SUSTAINABLE. You are more likely to succeed at it, because it costs you less in personal energy – no sleep loss, no being hung over or getting pissed off with other drunks, no late night fast food. And believe me, sustainability is key if you want to succeed at pick up. You will only get good at this if you keep up at it for years – that’s how much time it realistically takes most people. And can you really imagine going to clubs 4-5 a week for the next 3-4 years? That’s very hard to keep up, to say the least.
#4 Daygame, done right, is much crazier than night game
I understand the allure of night game, especially for younger guys (I was once young too, you know…). It’s a “festive” atmosphere, everybody is in a great mood, crazy stuff seems to be going on around every corner. And most importantly: the girls, man! Mini-skirts, high heels, make up – how can you NOT love night game? It seems so promising, sex just one step away. But that is an illusion. Yes, it is very nice to look at pretty girls all dressed up but most of the time, this is exactly where it stops. How many of your friends take a pretty girl home from a night of partying, at least semi-regularly? One of the guys? More like none? Most of them never? I know, I can read minds… Don’t be fooled by the bling: just because the mini-skirts are coming out doesn’t mean sex is any closer – or any more exciting! On the contrary: after having gone out on a regular basis for a couple of years, you will start to notice how incredibly scripted the whole experience feels. You meet up with your friends, you go to the club of your choice, you get a couple of drinks, you watch the girls, maybe you dance a little, then you go home again. It’s always the same, non-exciting process.
If you look at it like this, daygame in truth is the much bigger adventure – and not just for you, but for the girl too! You see a girl on the street and you decide to talk to her. That is something that ordinarily never happens to her! She is used to all kinds of losers hitting on her in the club, but a guy having the courage to approach her stone cold sober during the day and being charming about it? That is really something different. And it doesn’t stop here. Maybe you invite her out for a drink right away, the two of you click and you end up having sex right afterwards; and on top of that, the sex happens to be great. When you or she walked out of the door this morning, did you expect your day to turn out like this? Probably not. And doesn’t that feel way more exciting and unpredictable than the ritualized routine of going to a club every Friday and Saturday? It for sure does. She will remember this adventure for ages and so will you. Actually, the first time it happens to you it will feel completely unreal, out of this world… But damn good!
#5 Daygame lets you avoid the Law of Comparison
Daygame has an inbuilt advantage over night game: it frees you from the burden of immediate comparability. Let me explain: according to professor of psychology, Dan Ariely, in ‘Predictably Irrational,’ we primarily attach value to a thing by comparing it to another similar thing. That means just looking at the thing itself, without any possibility of comparing it, we have a much harder time gauging its value. Easy enough, right? Okay, now let’s apply that idea to game. In a club, it’s very easy to come up with an estimate of someone’s sexual market value: you just have to look around. Since we are all confined to the same space (the room or the building the club is in) and since we all happen to choose to spend on average several hours there, the comparability is extremely high. So naturally, girls who see you there will attach value to you by comparing you with the other guys in the club. And they will do so primarily based on pretty superficial criteria, namely: 1) Your looks, 2) Your body language, 3) Your social proof (the people you hang out with) – what else is there to go by?! If you can score in all 3 categories, congratulations, you’ll do well at club game. But 95% of guys don’t and therefore rarely have any successes.
Now let’s look at daygame: how do girls gauge your value, i.e. your attractiveness, here? It’s much, much harder to do that by simply comparing your looks or your social proof to other guys around you, since daygame takes place in an open-ended environment. There are no physical boundaries to keep people in the same space, so, as a result, there is a constant influx of new people, new faces, instead of a set “inventory” of people, like in club game. Also, everybody is constantly moving instead of standing around static in a corner, which hinders comparability further. And last but not least: it’s also an environment most girls don’t expect to be hit on, and when it happens, they are really not in the state of mind to draw immediate comparisons to their surroundings.
What you gain through daygame this way, is the chance to actually present yourself through the type of personality you are. And personality, unlike looks, is something that can be built up infinitely. Don’t get me wrong, doing that might take years and years of hard work: trying to become a better conversationalist, to become more educated, a more well-rounded person. But it can be done. And it gives guys who are not naturally gifted with good looks a chance to still meet and date very attractive women.
#6 Daygame is cheap
I saved this one for last, as it is my least favorite reason. It is true: daygame is extremely cheap. No club entrance fees, no expensive drinks, no cab rides home because you are too drunk to drive. So what’s there not to like? I guess it’s my predisposition as a coach again: I’ve met so many Pick Up guys over the years that were complete cheap asses, it was appalling. And I honestly think that this is no accident but hints at a deeper rooted problem: many pick up guys have the mindset of always wanting a freebie, be it girls, be it money, be it effort. They want to date the hotties, but they don’t want to actually go through the pain of rejection. They want to look muscular and fit, but they don’t really want to work-out or diet for real. They want a certain product, but they don’t want to pay for it. And so on and so forth. If you are mainly drawn to daygame because it’s cheaper, you have to take a long critical look at yourself and start to realize that in order to receive value in life, you have to offer value. If you try to wriggle around that principle, you are just setting yourself up for failure.
And now go do some daygame!